As you may have noticed I have not been writing much these days. That does not mean that there is nothing to say, just that I don’t know how to say what I need to say. I find that interesting. I wanted to continue the blog for others benefit not my own. I do believe I have left off at the nursing school and the first time that I was made aware that I had blacked out. That was a changing point in my life. I did not realize it then but looking back I needed to know the consequences of being abused the way I was.
I took the instructors advise and sought out help with my mental health. During one of my visits I found out that I had multiple personalities. These personalities would come out during different times. I had a personality that if I was being attacked verbally or physically would come out to protect me. I did not know when they would show up it would be that I would just change without even knowing. This did cause issues in my life as people would not know what happened to me. I look back and there are several situations in my life that I do not know happened but I was there.
Back to the visit with the counselor, she was surprised that I had 4 personalities and wanted to know their names. At that time I did recall the name but today it is difficult as I had meshed them all together to make me who I am today. I guess if it is really important I could go to my old diaries and get the names but I do not think that is a important point to make. During the counseling sessions the counselor would ask me if I wanted to see a psychiatrist for the issues that I was having, I was so scared to be on any medication due to the addiction that our mother had to them. I was so scared that I would become just like her. I would rapidly state “No, they will put me on medication and I will be just like her”, speaking of our mother. The counselor would try and reassure me that the medications today will not cause that kind of addiction, I did not believe her. So I suffered for years dealing with the depression and anxiety.
Going through university was a good time for me as it took my mind off of the issues that plagued me during my life. Also, it taught me that I can be my own person with flaws. If you go through nursing school and do not change your outlook on life I feel you missed the point of nursing. I found it amazing watching the other students and the changes that they would go through, the only problem is I did not see the changes it made in me.
During nursing school I was in a long term relationship, and he would be the one that told me that I was changing. It is hard to see the changes in yourself but others pick up on it quickly. Then I started to pay closer attention to the person that I was and what I wanted from life and if it was the same for the man that I was with. Everything changed after graduation.
After graduation I was working and making more money than my partner, this made him insecure. We decided to buy a bigger home and we spent our time looking for new properties for us in the neighbourhoods that we wanted to live. We did not realize that we were taking away from the real issues of our relationship and how to get past them. We finally found a house that we liked and we bought it and moved. Moving was a chore as it was from one side of the city to the other.
During the time that we lived in the house our life had started the change. I was working shift work and he was working long hours at work and at his fathers business. We lost touch with each other. My birthday came and we had a tradition of spending it out at my aunts and uncles, but this year was different, he wanted to stay in the city. The day finally came and I asked if he was coming or staying in the city, he stated that he wanted to stay. I said ok and packed my bag and put it in the truck and continued on my way out of the city. While driving I wondered why he did not want to come with me, then it hit me like a rock, we are over. My stomach started to turn, I felt like vomiting and just about turned around due to the anxiety that I was suffering.
Spent the weekend with my aunt and uncle, then I was on my way home. I remember him sitting in the basement of our new place and he did not talk to me when I came in the house. I had to talk to him and ask what he wanted, he said that he wanted me to move out and dissolve our relationship. My feelings on the way out of the city were coming true. He said that he had found some one else and wanted to be with her. I stated that we both had changed and needed to go our separate ways. I cried myself to sleep several nights as I slept in the spare room, and he was in the master bedroom. It just felt wrong. I worked and saved my money and looked for an apartment to move to. Finally found a place where I used to live a bachelors apartment, just what I needed.
25% Percent 
We are thrilled to hear this and look forward to expanding our content to clarify and deepen the understanding of our experience and the experience of so many children. Thank you so much for your support!
LikeLike
This is really interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger.
I have joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of
your excellent post. Also, I have shared your site in my social networks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much kitten, we really appreciate your support! Both my sister and I are so happy that you have found us and are going to come back and spend time with us. We are looking forward to sharing more too. We are in the process of adding more content to previous posts as a lot of people are requesting more content about events and situations we have lived through. 😊💗
LikeLike
I’m really impressed together with your writing
skills as neatly as with the format for your weblog. Is this a paid topic or did you customize it
your self? Anyway stay up the nice quality writing, it’s uncommon to peer a nice blog
like this one today..
LikeLike
Howdy! I simply would like to give you a big thumbs
up for the excellent information you’ve got right here on this post.
I’ll be returning to your web site for more
soon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for the comment, the encouragement goes a long way.
Tammy and Tyra
LikeLike
Thank you so much, we look forward to seeing you back and conversing with you. 😊🦋
LikeLike
Excellent post. I was checking continuously this blog and I’m impressed!
Very helpful information specially the last part :
) I care for such info a lot. I was looking for
this particular information for a very long time.
Thank you and best of luck.
LikeLike
I was recommended this website by way of my cousin. I’m no
longer sure whether this submit is written by way of him as no one else
realize such targeted approximately my difficulty. You’re amazing!
Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are amazing too sweet Angel 😇 . Thank you for blessing us with your time and kindness.
LikeLike
What’s up, everything is going nicely here and ofcourse every one is sharing information,
that’s in fact fine, keep up writing.
LikeLike
Hi there, after reading this awesome article i am as well delighted to share my familiarity here
with colleagues.
LikeLike
Precisely what I was looking for, thank you for posting.
LikeLike
Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads
up. The words in your article seem to be running off the
screen in Safari. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with browser compatibility but I thought I’d post to let you know.
The design look great though! Hope you get the problem resolved
soon. Kudos
LikeLike
Thanks for every other informative web site. Where else may just I get that type
of info written in such an ideal way? I’ve a mission that
I am just now operating on, and I’ve been at the look
out for such info.
LikeLike
Excellent web site. Plenty of useful info here.
I am sending it to some friends ans also sharing in delicious.
And naturally, thank you in your effort!
LikeLike
Hi! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website before but after going through
a few of the posts I realized it’s new to me. Regardless,
I’m certainly delighted I discovered it and
I’ll be book-marking it and checking back frequently!
LikeLike
Hi there colleagues, its wonderful paragraph about tutoringand completely defined, keep it up all the time.
LikeLike
This is a topic that is near to my heart…
Take care! Where are your contact details though?
LikeLike
Normally I don’t read article on blogs, however I wish to say that this write-up very
pressured me to try and do so! Your writing taste has been amazed me.
Thanks, quite great article.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much!,🙂
LikeLike
My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find
nearly all of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for.
can you offer guest writers to write content for you?
I wouldn’t mind publishing a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you write regarding
here. Again, awesome web site!
LikeLike
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your further write ups thank you once again.
LikeLike
It’s awesome to visit this web site and reading the views of all mates on the topic
of this paragraph, while I am also eager of
getting familiarity.
LikeLike
I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest but your blogs really
nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come
back in the future. Many thanks
LikeLike
Hey! This post could not be written any better!
Reading through this post reminds me of my
old room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this write-up to him.
Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
I know this site offers quality depending posts and other data, is there any
other site which provides these data in quality?
LikeLike
I couldn’t resist commenting. Exceptionally well written!
LikeLike
Neat blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from
somewhere? A design like yours with a few simple tweeks would really make my blog jump out.
Please let me know where you got your theme. Thank you
LikeLike
hello there, thanks for the comment. we custom made our blog on wordpress. it has taken a lot of time to get it where it is now. we are consistently making changes to improve the readers experience.
Tammy and Tyra
LikeLike