“The Path to Wholeness Starts Here”

Welcome!

Welcome to Our Healing Journey

We invite you to walk with us on a path of healing, transformation, and hope. This blog was born from our desire to help others who’ve endured trauma and abuse, and to remind you that peace, love, and recovery are possible—even after the darkest of days.

Some of the stories we share are raw and honest, and may include graphic details about abuse. Please take care of your heart and mind as you read.

Sharing our truth hasn’t always been easy, but it has been incredibly rewarding. If our words bring even one person comfort or clarity, then this journey is worth every step.

🦋 With love and strength, Tyra

A Message from Tammy

Hello, I’m Tammy—the eldest sister.
Our lives have been shaped by deep pain, but also by resilience, growth, and the unshakable belief that healing is possible.

There is hope after trauma. There is light after the darkness. Through spiritual awakening, we can rise from our past and transform—just like the butterfly that emerges from the cocoon, scarred but beautiful.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for giving your time and heart to share in our story.
🦋 With heartfelt gratitude, Tammy

25 Percent: Two Sisters’ Perspective
By Tyra and Tammy | December 9, 2019 | Category: Uncategorized | 5-minute read

Tammy & Tyra

You may be wondering why this memoir is called 25 Percent. Let us explain.

There are four of us-the 4 T’s: Tammy, Tyra, Tanya, and Trevor, in that order. We were raised under the same roof, living in the same reality… but our outcomes could not be more different.

We experienced so much abuse—some of it visible, some of it hidden so deeply that we kept it secret even from each other, believing that silence would protect one another. Only we, individually, know the full extent of what happened to us.

The trauma affected all of us, but in vastly different ways. If you saw us all together today, you might be shocked by the contrast.

Tammy, the eldest, endured the worst of the abuse. She carries deep scars, but she has reached a place of acceptance. Though once broken, she now lives as a mended spirit.

Tyra was also abused, sexually, emotionally, by the same man who harmed Tammy. But she had a foundation of normalcy during her early years. For three years, both Tammy and Tyra lived with foster parents who showed them a different way of life. That early glimpse of safety gave Tyra a sense of self-worth, boundaries, and the ability to fight for a better future. She lives with anxiety and depression but is high-functioning. She is bent, but not broken. She is the 25 percent, the one out of the four who can live and function in society.

The two youngest siblings now live in the shadows of society, caught in the throes of addiction and pain. They are the fragmented and the shattered ones. They are lost… for now.

Tyra’s Perspective

I always knew I was different. At times, I even believed I must have been adopted. From a young age, I knew I didn’t want to live the life I was born into. That awareness, combined with the need to be different, caused constant tension between my mother and me. She didn’t understand why I rejected the life she gave us. She didn’t see how destructive her choices were for all four of her children.

I used to ask her, “Why can’t you be like other moms?”
She would often fall silent. Sometimes she cried, saying she didn’t know why. And in those moments, I would let my guard down… and allow her dysfunction to continue unchecked.

The constant conflict shaped me into a defensive adult. It still impacts me to this day. Now, at 48, I understand why I react the way I do. Is it easy to change? No. But I’ve been in the helping profession for 20 years, and I’ve learned to recognize my triggers. I’m not perfect, I still struggle with feeling attacked, but I’m self-aware. Sometimes, taking a deep breath and walking away is the best solution… even if it’s the hardest one.

Tammy’s Perspective

Hi and welcome. I’m so glad you’re here.

This journey we’re on, Tyra and I, it can be heartbreaking, hilarious, terrifying, inspiring. Life changes constantly, and hopefully, so do we.

“To change is to live. To live well is to change often.”

What makes my life different? I survived it. And as you walk alongside us, you’ll come to see why I say that.

I don’t believe in comparing pain. No one’s abuse, no one’s trauma, is more or less than another’s. Pain is pain. Trauma is trauma. We are all precious. There is no scale to weigh suffering, no price tag to measure our worth. Our fragility deserves respect. Our strength deserves honor.

There are pieces of my life I don’t remember. To fill the gaps, I’ve asked blunt questions to foster parents and social workers. I’ve read my own files through Freedom of Information requests. You may ask, “Why would you want to know all that?” My answer is simple:
Wouldn’t you want to understand why living a ‘normal’ life feels impossible?

We are not cases, we are individuals with shared experiences.
My spirit was broken by trauma, and mended by love.

Most people don’t self-medicate, don’t live with waking nightmares, don’t isolate themselves for days, don’t jump at every sound or hear voices yelling in the distance. Most people don’t feel joy from starting a new medication and wondering if this is what happiness is supposed to feel like.

I sleep a lot, around the clock, if I can. People ask why. The truth? I live in my dreams. My waking hours are the real nightmare. Maybe someone out there can relate.

I’m what society calls a “vulnerable, mentally ill person.” That label makes it hard to engage with the world. People like me are often taken advantage of, not just by society’s outcasts, but by so-called “normal” people, too. I don’t understand it, but I know it happens. And I know many are suffering because of it.

Still, I will strive to be the best version of myself. I accept myself. I even like myself, unless I’m in that dark place… then, not so much.

But healing is worth the effort. Growth is worth the pain.
And spiritual peace? I will pursue it until the day I say goodbye.

© [Tammy Grove and Tyra Schamehorn] and [25Percent], [2019 continued]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of written material by Tammy Grove and Tyra Schamehorn, without express and written permission from this site’s authors and/or owners is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [Tammy Grove and Tyra Schamehorn] and [25Percent] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About the title: 25percent. I came up the title 25percent when I was contemplating my life and my families lives. Our blog covers multiple abuses and issues. One of which is addictions. I did somepercent of children, of alcoholic parents grow up not to